Dear DbyDC: Help, I got dressed in my sleep…

Dear Death by Dress Code,

I got dressed while still half asleep this morning, put on black skinny jeans and an oversize shirt (an outfit I’ve previously sported with success) but then added over-the-knee suede boots and so much jewellery I can barely move. I’m now stuck at work hating my outfit but not being able to do anything about it.

Please help!

 

Dear Half-Asleep,

First off, there IS something you can do about it. Take off some of the jewellery. Put it in your handbag. Does that feel a bit better? Ok, good.

This is a classic problem. What you’ve done in your bleary-eyed state is whacked on your nearest fail-safe ensemble. This was a sensible move, well done. But then you’ve panicked that it was too easy and tried to overcompensate with the boots and jewellery. Don’t fret, it happens. Yes, you look like some sort of domanatrix Egyptian goddess but who says that’s necessarily a bad thing?

Now that you’ve taken off the jewellery you should be some way towards feeling normal again. Unfortunately when it comes to the boots, there’s not much you can do, short of an emergency ballet pump purchase. If this is in any way a viable option I’d say go for it. You probably need a new pair of ballet pumps anyway. You could even think about leaving them at work as back-up in case you fuck up again which, let’s be honest, seems fairly likely.

In the meantime I’d suggest getting back to work. You sit at a desk all day, it’s not like anyone actually cares what you’re wearing.

Hugs, DbyDC xx

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