Archive for style

Puppy print swimsuit (yes, you read that correctly)

Posted in Trends with tags , , , on May 8, 2012 by DbyDC

Um… oh God. I mean… wow.

I just needed to share this with you.

Yes, people. Yes. That is a puppy print swimsuit. It is not a joke (though DbyDC is laughing pretty hard right now), you can actually buy this thing. It’s a bargain at £192.96 but hurry as there’s only one left in stock…

Why Blade Runner is better than Versace

Posted in Fashion News with tags , , , , , on January 19, 2012 by DbyDC

It occurred to DbyDC while looking through the new Versace for H&M collection (on sale from today, which basically means until about lunch time) that the models were channeling a bit of a replicant vibe. Bleached hair, slightly plasticky-looking skin tone, penetrating, unearthly gaze…

Know what I mean? For reference, here are Ridley Scott’s original gang…

What do you reckon? Frankly, I prefer the droids.

Now, there’s nothing particularly WRONG with Donatella’s latest PR stunt attempt to bring quality and design to the many rather than the few but it just isn’t as good as Blade Runner.

I mean, think about it… costume designers, imagining in 1982 what bioengineered superhuman androids might wear in 2019, actually came up with BETTER outfits than a fashion designer in 2012 designing clothes for plain old people to wear in 2012. Doesn’t that just blow your mind? No? Ok, fine. Clearly I just have waaaay too much of a thing for 80s Sci Fi.

Laugh all you like. If it came to a straight fight between pastel-coloured fruit prints and black leather, sheer body con and glittering scales (oh, please let it come to that), I know whose side I’d be on.

Croc-horror! A selection of shoes that are IN EVERY WAY preferable to Crocs.

Posted in Style Tips with tags , , , , , , on January 13, 2012 by DbyDC

To be honest slagging off Crocs is a bit below DbyDC. I mean, it’s so obvious. But then someone sent me… THIS:

Is this the ugliest shoe in the world? It’s a big shout but after careful consideration DbyDC has decided…  yes. Yes, it probably is. I mean, good CHRIST, Crocs. What the flippin’ heck were you thinking?

 [NB There is a strong possibility these boots are a fake. What would possess somebody to create a mutant Croc – even in digital form – is not a question I feel qualified to answer right now but I’m not going to let that put me off  a bit of good old-fashioned bitching.]

Then again, it’s not like they’ve got a sterling track record where style is concerned, is it?

Now, I’m a strong believer in the form follows function mandate but come on. You’re not supposed to abandon form altogether. There is just NO NEED for shoes to be this ugly. It’s gratuitous. And their moronic buyers justify them on the basis that they are “comfy”. This is bollocks. Do you know what else is comfy, Croc-suckers? These:

Muji, £10.95 in case you’re interested. I have them in cream. God, they’re comfy. And you can put them in the washing machine. Can you put crocs in the washing machine? No.

“Oh but… oh but… [say the Croc-apologists] you can’t wear slippers outside. Crocs are waterproof.” Oh really? Wow. Do you know what else is waterproof? These:

How cool? Wellies that look like biker boots. I don’t own them but I wish I did. They’re by Hunter and you can pick ’em up on Asos for £95.

“Wellies, pah! [oh crap, it’s the Croc-lovers again] Crocs are breezy and cool and you don’t even need socks… though you can wear socks if you like.” Wtf, is that supposed to be a selling point? What a Croc of shit. Do you know what else is cool and sock-free? These:

Wait, what’s that? Comfy, breezy, waterproof AND they don’t look like snozzcumbers on acid? Surely it’s too good to be true?

Well, actually no. Just pop down to Office, cough up £22.99 and the dream really can become reality.

You’re welcome. x

Gloved up

Posted in My Dress Code with tags , , on December 6, 2011 by DbyDC

image

This ensemble is mainly inspired by the fact that it’s really cold in my flat. No, seriously. This is what I wear to eat dinner in.

Topshop make truly vile dress (and fashion mags fall for it)

Posted in Trends with tags , , , on October 17, 2011 by DbyDC

You don’t need DbyDC to tell you this dress is horrible. Just look at it. It’s described as the Wallpaper Ombre dress which means… well, fuck all really, it’s just a name. But it does have the word ‘wallpaper’ in it which ought to be a clue.

So what else do you need to know about it? It’s £80, it’s from Topshop and it’s 100% polyester. And according to Look magazine, it is the answer to “all our fashion prayers.” Yep, all of ’em.

It will look “just as good in the office as it would on a Saturday night,” they claim, absurdly. And “whatever look you’re going for, this is one dress that’s guaranteed to make a serious style statement without being OTT.”

Um, really?

Let’s see, it’s a faux vintage cut combined with granny-chic florals in 70s shades, dip-dyed and topped off with acid yellow. Yep, OTT is pretty much EXACTLY the expression that comes to mind. And that’s without the sky high heels and oversized clutch that Look suggest I glam it up with…

For more silly things Topshop has done, click here.

A seriously FAB look

Posted in My Dress Code with tags , , on August 29, 2011 by DbyDC

image

“I like your outfit,” my boyfriend told me today.

“Oh thanks,” I said.

“Yeah, I like the colours and the dotty lace at the bottom – makes you look like a FAB ice lolly.”

Dress, boutique on Portobello Rd (currently on probation, I don’t really like it but always get compliments when I wear it) / Jacket, Beyond Retro / Leggings and hat, both H&M / Boots, M&S (I took particular delight in telling this to one of the fashion girls at work last year. “Ooh, are those the Russell & Bromley ones,” she asked. “No, they’re the Marks & Spencer ones,” I replied. “Super comfy and about an eighth of the price.”)

Bare-legged in the bleak midwinter

Posted in Style Tips with tags , , on September 14, 2010 by DbyDC

Sorry girls. I know you stocked up on cable knit thigh-highs last year but Vicky Ward (Vogue, October 2010) says bare legs are hot in New York. And we all know New York is where the hot people are (Except when they’re in London, obvs, darl. Or Paris. Or er… Tallinn? Basically wherever the The Sartorialist last went, I think).

Anyway, the point, she explains, is that in NYC “it is usual for a woman to arrive in her office pencil skirt uninhibited by tights (even trousers are worn with peep-toe sandals and a tanned ankle) and for a truly chic evening out, you must be without tights, taut and gleaming.”

Um… seriously? Oh yes. And, in a line apparently plagiarised from Mecca Bingo’s 1953 Miss World application pack, she advises British Women to do the same:

“Step with bare legs and a gleaming smile no matter if it is raining, sleeting, or snowing.”

It goes on. And just when you thought the urge to smack this woman couldn’t get much stronger…

“Status dictates that, no matter what, you appear at a cocktail party with legs that look like their just back from a winter break in St Barts (fortunately for us, winter sun is short flight away). Also mandatory are 4in heels that tell the room: ‘My car dropped me at the door.’”

But then, slowly, you begin to realise that what you’re feeling isn’t scorn, not really. It’s pity.

“Here we get pedicures every two weeks. We wax from the thigh down. Those who can’t afford to fly to Palm Beach every weekend keep a bottle of Airflash to hand – leg foundation from Dior.”

Until finally…

“We don’t train, tone and wax our legs into perfect condition 365 days a year only to bundle them into tights.”

No. No you don’t, Vicky. But then, neither do we.