Archive for Muji

Croc-horror! A selection of shoes that are IN EVERY WAY preferable to Crocs.

Posted in Style Tips with tags , , , , , , on January 13, 2012 by DbyDC

To be honest slagging off Crocs is a bit below DbyDC. I mean, it’s so obvious. But then someone sent me… THIS:

Is this the ugliest shoe in the world? It’s a big shout but after careful consideration DbyDC has decided…  yes. Yes, it probably is. I mean, good CHRIST, Crocs. What the flippin’ heck were you thinking?

 [NB There is a strong possibility these boots are a fake. What would possess somebody to create a mutant Croc – even in digital form – is not a question I feel qualified to answer right now but I’m not going to let that put me off  a bit of good old-fashioned bitching.]

Then again, it’s not like they’ve got a sterling track record where style is concerned, is it?

Now, I’m a strong believer in the form follows function mandate but come on. You’re not supposed to abandon form altogether. There is just NO NEED for shoes to be this ugly. It’s gratuitous. And their moronic buyers justify them on the basis that they are “comfy”. This is bollocks. Do you know what else is comfy, Croc-suckers? These:

Muji, £10.95 in case you’re interested. I have them in cream. God, they’re comfy. And you can put them in the washing machine. Can you put crocs in the washing machine? No.

“Oh but… oh but… [say the Croc-apologists] you can’t wear slippers outside. Crocs are waterproof.” Oh really? Wow. Do you know what else is waterproof? These:

How cool? Wellies that look like biker boots. I don’t own them but I wish I did. They’re by Hunter and you can pick ’em up on Asos for £95.

“Wellies, pah! [oh crap, it’s the Croc-lovers again] Crocs are breezy and cool and you don’t even need socks… though you can wear socks if you like.” Wtf, is that supposed to be a selling point? What a Croc of shit. Do you know what else is cool and sock-free? These:

Wait, what’s that? Comfy, breezy, waterproof AND they don’t look like snozzcumbers on acid? Surely it’s too good to be true?

Well, actually no. Just pop down to Office, cough up £22.99 and the dream really can become reality.

You’re welcome. x

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