Archive for the Fashion News Category

Wanky fashion comment of the week

Posted in Fashion News on March 26, 2012 by DbyDC

“There are two types of beauties in this world. The embarrassing, needy sort who let it all hang out, and the fabulous beasts who captivate by doing nothing at all.” – Giles Hattersley, The Sunday Times Style

There’s only one word for this: guh. If there’s a more obnoxious, snobbish, brown-nosery opener to an interview, DbyDC would really like to see it.

Firstly there’s the use of the word ‘beauties’ which calls to mind leery 1960s Miss World presenters, grinning and fondly patting the bums of the contestants. Secondly there’s the suggestion that there are only two types which, in an issue supposedly dedicated to eccentric and alternative forms of beauty, strikes me as a monumentally daft thing to say. And thirdly, there’s the suggestion that if you enjoy a bit of theatre in your approach to fashion, you are both needy and embarrassing (to whom, I’m not sure… the Sunday Times, maybe?). Oh do piss off.

The ‘beauty’ in question was Josephine de La Baume, the model and actress and – perhaps more crucially, at least where mainstream media interest is concerned – wife of Mark Ronson. Hattersley is quick to point out/gush that she is one of the latter sort, making me immediately wonder who he has in mind for the former.

Now I actually quite like Mlle de La Baume’s style. She’s not just pretty, she’s interesting-looking and she looked smokin’ as a redhead in last year’s Agent Provocateur ads. I also feel like she’d be a worthy competitor in a ‘how long can I go without washing my hair’ contest (of which the fash industry holds too few, in my opinion) but a “fabulous beast” who “captivates by doing nothing at all”? Vom. Also, bullshit. No one does nothing. No one, no one, no one. Especially not women and especially not women in the public eye so please stop pretending they do.

Except me, obviously. I wake up looking perfect…

[NB This photo was actually taken at a ‘Lost Boys’ Secret Cinema event so I’m rockin’ out my late 80s grunge but the result is pretty close to how I look first thing in the morning. Mmm…]

 

 

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Fashion shocker: Woman ignores dress code; is turned away

Posted in Fashion News with tags , , , on January 25, 2012 by DbyDC

It has come to DbyDC’s attention that this woman was barred from entering three nightclubs on account of her attire failing to meet the specifications of their dress code.

 

Now, ‘smart casual’ can be interpreted fairly broadly but even I have to admit it probably doesn’t extend to PVC and chains.

The doormen who told 28-year-old Lisa Woodman she was “too old” to wear the ensemble were definitely being a bit idiotic. And of course they aren’t allowed to discriminate against her on grounds of age but on outfit… yeah, I’m afraid they are. This isn’t a matter of what you can or can’t squeeze your body into, it’s a matter of style and – ultimately – taste. If a venue has a dress code, you have to adhere to it and yes, I’m afraid they get to decide where the boundaries are drawn.

By the way, it’s probably worth pointing out at this stage that ‘death by dress code’ refers to the cultural narrative of dress imposed upon us by our Anglo-American capitalist society, not actual dress codes. Actual dress codes are quite useful; they help us decide what to wear. Also, to my knowledge, no one has ever actually died as the result of one [note to self: maybe check this?].

Anyway, the tabloids have ostensibly tried to spin this into some sort of feminist issue in their usual back-handed way but it’s not really washing. Yes a woman (hell, a person) has the right to look like a cartoon porn star if she wants to but don’t be surprised if there are limited occasions in which this is deemed ‘in keeping’.

Now, DbyDC is all for self-expression through the medium of fashion but what is this woman trying to express? That’s not even a rhetorical question, I really want to know. She says she likes to dress sexily and that’s fine but maybe save the wipe-clean fabrics for Torture Garden, eh?

I hate to say it but she looks like a prostitute. And not one like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. That, my friends, is ‘hooker chic’ and far more stylish than anything Ms Woodman owns.

So what is it? A protest? The newspapers seem to think that Lisa Woodman has been humiliated by not being allowed in to her local club, that women should be allowed to wear whatever they like and not have to suffer such open disapproval. I mean, that’s what the slutwalks were for, right?

Hmm. Not quite. The slutwalks were about women being able to wear whatever they liked without being abused. They were not about getting into clubs. People like Lisa should be allowed to strut their stuff in any manner of getup without becoming victims to verbal or physical assault.

But at no point did anyone suggest we have to share their fashion tastes.

Why Blade Runner is better than Versace

Posted in Fashion News with tags , , , , , on January 19, 2012 by DbyDC

It occurred to DbyDC while looking through the new Versace for H&M collection (on sale from today, which basically means until about lunch time) that the models were channeling a bit of a replicant vibe. Bleached hair, slightly plasticky-looking skin tone, penetrating, unearthly gaze…

Know what I mean? For reference, here are Ridley Scott’s original gang…

What do you reckon? Frankly, I prefer the droids.

Now, there’s nothing particularly WRONG with Donatella’s latest PR stunt attempt to bring quality and design to the many rather than the few but it just isn’t as good as Blade Runner.

I mean, think about it… costume designers, imagining in 1982 what bioengineered superhuman androids might wear in 2019, actually came up with BETTER outfits than a fashion designer in 2012 designing clothes for plain old people to wear in 2012. Doesn’t that just blow your mind? No? Ok, fine. Clearly I just have waaaay too much of a thing for 80s Sci Fi.

Laugh all you like. If it came to a straight fight between pastel-coloured fruit prints and black leather, sheer body con and glittering scales (oh, please let it come to that), I know whose side I’d be on.

Another day, another offensive T-shirt

Posted in Fashion News with tags , , on November 2, 2011 by DbyDC

Another day, another offensive T shirt . This time by a clothing manufacturer called Chargrilled (nope, me neither). Click here for details but essentially all you need to know is that this company were selling a T-shirt that read:

No + Rohypnol = Yes

Woweeeee. And as ever in the fashion world it got even better when the company’s founder tweeted that anyone who didn’t like them could “get a life” and that “they weren’t meant for ugly feminists” anyway.

Oh, right. Okeydoke then. Nee bother.

Oh… except I forgot just one teeny thing. You’re a fucking idiot, @charlieshiner (whoops, was that his twitter handle?).

Tattooed Barbie deemed ‘inappropriate’ (but I still want her outfit)

Posted in Fashion News with tags , , , on October 31, 2011 by DbyDC

Check out Tokidoki Barbie, isn’t she awesome? I mean, I don’t want one or anything, I’m a grown woman for Chrissakes. But come on, what’s not to love? Pink bob – check. Leopard print – check. Plastic bangles – check. Dog wearing a cactus… er, check. She’s rocking her trashy-chic roots with aplomb. DbyDC thoroughly approves.

Naturally the Mail et al have been whinging about the terrible message this sends out to children (regarding the tattoos, that is, the rest of the outfit is obviously fine. In fact, if you happen to be looking for some leopard-print leggings for your six-year-old, Debenhams do a very classy pair. The PVC skirt I can’t help you with). But much good may it do them as she’s sold out everywhere, much to the delight of her Japanese anime-inspired designers who, it is worth pointing out, never intended the doll for children anyway but for adult collectors.

Hmm… let’s gloss over that one.

Mattel have defended Tokidoki Barbie’s soft-punk style by pointing out that “Barbie has sported an endless array of styles,” just as they did for Totally Stylin’ Barbie, released in 2009 with removable sticker tats. “The doll gives girls a chance to express themselves and be creative,” they insisted. Hurrah to that.

Except… um, actually Barbie is generally pretty awful isn’t she? Yes, she has sported an endless array of styles but were any of them the kind of thing you’d want your kids to wear? The point the tattoo-haters seem to have missed is that Barbie has never been a style icon, let alone a female role model.

She might have a kitsch appeal now that we’ve outgrown her (at least most of us have…) but in the end she’s a tacky bimbo with an absurd set of vital stats (36-18-33) and a BMI that puts her firmly in the anorexic camp and makes it unlikely she has ever menstruated in all her 52 years. She also wears too much make-up and dyes her hair a brassy shade of peroxide. I might be going out on a limb here but in terms of sending a message out to children, I’d say tattoos are the least of her worries.

Still kind of love this outfit though.

Introducing… the bra that thinks it’s a revolution

Posted in Fashion News with tags , , , on October 5, 2011 by DbyDC

I know what you’re thinking. It’s all very well these sports bras offering innovative breast encapsulation, sweat-removing fabric, not to mention brilliant support and comfort but when are they going to make one that STOPS people looking at my breasts?

Well here it is, ladies. Finally, a bra that helps me “get one over” on men.

Aussie clothing store tells complaining customer she isn’t “fashion forward” enough

Posted in Fashion News with tags , on September 29, 2011 by DbyDC

DbyDC couldn’t make this shit up. Actually I could but the fashion world is so unfailingly awful that I don’t have to.

When Keara O’Neil sent an email to Australian clothes retailer GASP complaining of the rude way she’d been treated by a sales assistant in one of their stores, she wasn’t even expecting an apology. As a retail assistant herself she merely thought they should be informed of the attitude and incompetency of one of their staff members. The response she got was… something else.

DbyDC barely evens knows where to start with selecting passages to quote. In fact, I suggest you just head straight over to the Herald Sun where they have both Keara’s email and the reply from GASP’s area manager in full. But to whet your appetite, here are a few choice cuts:

“We only carry products which appeal to a very fashion forward consumer. This means that the customer whom is acclimatised to buying from “clothing for the masses” type retailers, is almost frightened by our range.”

“Chris whom served you is a qualified stylist whom has a sixth sense for fashion.”

“Chris is a retail superstar, who possess unparalleled ability, and I am sorry you feel upset by him, but he knew you were not going to buy anything before you even left your house.”

“I respectfully ask that you side step our store during future window shopping expeditions.”

Sigh. It’s so bad it almost makes me happy. As long as there are people like this in the world, the DbyDC cogs can keep turning. I mean not only is this man, one Matthew Chidgey, a pretentious moron and a borderline imbecile (does Chris really have a sixth sense, DOES HE?) he’s also a nasty bastard. Plus he has since issued a statement defending his comments and even going so far as to say that:

“We respect and welcome all customers whom wish to visit our store, but we ask that their opinions be expressed through blogs, social media or around a warm latte, but certainly not inside our stores.”

Well here you go then, Matthew. Enjoy.