Dear DbyDC: Does my Halloween costume make me look like a novelty stripper?

Dear Death by Dress Code,

I ordered this pirate costume online for a Halloween party but now it’s arrived I realise it is not actually suitable for a public outing. I was going for ‘racy’ but have ended up somewhere between ‘I think I can see your pants’ and ‘Are you in fact a prostitute?’

I still think I can make it work, what do you reckon? No?

Ok, no.

 

Dear Pirate-slut,

What was your first clue? The fact that it comes with fishnet stockings or the fact that it lists panties as an ‘optional extra’? Jesus, woman, any fool can see this is a sex-outfit. Next time bypass the fancy dress shop and just go straight to Ann Summers.

But actually I think you can rescue this. Now, if it was me… well, let’s be honest, if it was me this would never have happened in the first place. My feelings on ‘sexy fancy dress’ have been well documented. But if it was me, I would be sorely tempted to rip up the skirt (into piratey rags – duh) and wear it as a kind of scruffy tunic over breeches (jeans) tucked into boots. This way you get the racy corset aspect but without any of the (optional) pantie flashing.

Failing that you could always wear leggings. Authenticity was never going to be your strong point here so you might as well be comfy.

Happy Halloween, DbyDC xx

***

DbyDC is now an agony aunt. Tweet me your dilemmas or drop me a line.

WARNING: May contain light mocking.

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